On the Journey With My Chosen One!

I am sure you might wonder why I call her chosen rather than adopted.... well, adopted is just her physical condition, CHOSEN is what we both are to be a family together! God is so rich in His Blessings, and He has chosen each of us from before the time we were knit in our mother's womb to be a FOREVER family! How BIG is that? How BIG is our God!?! Thank you for following our journey and for praying for us as we wait and continue to grow in the love of God! -- Blessings!

Liliana's Verses

Matthew 17:20 - " ... For truly I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain: "Move from here to there", and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."

Zephaniah 3:17 - The Lord your God is with you. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Beccas Blessings 10?

Well you know, back last January I decided to create this blog because I thought... "I'm getting close, people are going to want to know what is going on." I chose Becca's Blessings 10 because I thought: "well, surely there will be some blessings in 2010"..... and there were! But, the truth is, 2010 was a challenging year! I thought my dossier was well on its way to approval in January, only to find out they needed one more paper... got it to them within 2-3 days, then it took them another month to approve my dossier: The BLESSING - it was approved on March 3rd. But, that is when the "testing" began.... I found out just a few weeks later that since I had been on antibiotics, which started in January, that I would have to have sinus surgery. So, I had that only to not heal and continued on antibiotics until September when I had to have sinus surgery #2. I looked sinus surgery #3 in the face and said "NO WAY!!" .... The BLESSING -- After starting a vitamin plan, sinus surgery #3 was CANCELED! I was rear-ended 3 times and once in a parking lot. One of the accidents was pretty bad..... The BLESSING -- I was NOT hurt! May-October were very difficult adoption months with lots of emotional "roller coasters" and having to make some of the most difficult decisions of my life..... The BLESSING -- God saw me through and gave me the wisdom that I needed! Then more adoption "toughness" in October & November.... The BLESSING --- God showed up BIG TIME in December! My precious little girl and I will be united in 2011!

So often, I focus on my circumstances instead of the BIG picture! Was this year tough in a lot of ways?...YES!! But, here is the truth, God is FAITHFUL even when we are walking in what appears to be utter darkness! Is everything always "hunky dory"? NO!! But, God knows us, He knows our hearts, our thoughts, our fears, our walls and our joys! Did I have a lot of growing to do this year?.... YES!! But, anytime there is growth, there will be growing pains! What have I learned? GOD IS FAITHFUL, even when we start to wonder if He really is or not. God makes beauty from the ashes, ALWAYS! Here's the thing, there are things so much worse that people go through every day.... there are many who feel that the sunlight will never shine on their face again! Pray for these, (I am challenging myself here too!)those that you know, that are in difficult times.... because God is faithful! Sometimes we just can't see it and we need others to believe it for us, just so that we can hold onto our own little mustard seed of faith! There were so many who believed for me, even when I was struggling to find my "mustard-seed sized" faith. We need those people in our lives! I thank the many who stood in the gap for me and my little one and were prayer warriors for us through the challenging times. Listen to God, you might be one of those people for someone else. It is my prayer that I can be that person for someone, that my experiences and my struggles and my BLESSINGS might glorify God and help someone else who is struggling to believe! The truth is, I know it is an ongoing journey to believe.... but HE is FAITHFUL ALL THE TIME!

May you find the BLESSINGS in your year as you look back on 2010, and may you choose to SEE your blessings in 2011. I am only beginning my journey with my little one! 2011 is going to be a joyous year, but there are still going to be many times that I have to TRUST in His FAITHFULNESS! So, please continue to pray for my little one and me! And, I pray that each and every one of you have a joyous and BLESSED 2011!
¡Próspero Año Nuevo!

"We walk by FAITH, not by sight." -- 2 Corinthians 5:7

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Most Blessed Mom in the World....

Yes, I know there are probably many of you who would argue with me on this one! Wow! What a great feeling! And, yes, I know, there will be some tough days, I'll take any and all reminders of how blessed I am when those times come!

But, as if getting my little girl for Christmas wasn't enough, I was able to talk to the director of her home today via e-mail. She is so kind and sweet and is so excited that my sweet little one has a forever family! She said so many wonderful things about my little one and that she is so loved by everyone at the home, and then another great gift..... lots of pictures! While I am sad that I can't show you those pictures for a while, BELIEVE YOU ME, when I can, I WILL! But, I am so blessed because I have so many pictures to start a "life book" for her! She can look back and remember her years there were so joyful! Honestly, she is smiling in almost every picture.... and in one she has a pouty face.... I have to get busy on the "tough guy" routine or she'll railroad me with that sad face! :-) She is beautiful, that is all I can say, she is so beautiful and I am so blessed! I can hardly wait for the day (sorry still a while away) that I can share her with you all! God is so good!

Again, I ask you to please continue praying! Please pray for God to prepare our hearts for one another and for her to have resiliency. Thank you!

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21

Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Greatest Gift of All

What a beautiful day it was today! At my house there was snow, but where I am it was 75 degrees..... I was a little sad I missed the snow, but it was so beautiful here too! But, beyond the weather, the beautifulness of today was being able to spend it with my family! We had a great time together and a great feast! :-) I am still full! But, I have to say I am blessed beyond measure and my cup runneth over!!

I received the best gift of my life this Christmas! My little girl! I have to keep reminding myself that I am a Mommy! She is actually mine!! (By the way, I know you all have a lot of questions about when I will go to get her, what her name is, all of that.... I'll try to blog some of that info soon! -- I won't be able to post any pictures or personal info about her until I get to Peru..... so hang in there... I KNOW it is hard! I want to show you and can't wait for everyone to see her!)
Anyhow... I digress.... I received such a beautiful and great gift this Christmas, my sweet little girl! I could not have even planned this better myself.... God knew just what I needed and gave me even more than I could ever think or imagine! But, I am wanting to tell you of the GREATEST GIFT ever! You see, God sent His Son to be all of our GREATEST GIFT! The GREATEST GIFT you will ever receive is Salvation, only available through BELIEF in God's only Son -- Jesus! There are so many gifts that we could have and so many things that we could try to fill our lives with, but the truth is HE is the GREATEST GIFT!
While I am thrilled about my baby girl, I am also humbled that God has chosen me to love her, nurture her and take care of her! Just like Mary & Joseph, she is mine to care for on this earth, but she is God's! And just has God had a plan to come here as a baby and to save the world from their sins, He has a purpose for my little one. Neither of us know yet what that will be, but I hope that you will join me in prayer that her life will Magnify the Lord!
Thank you for your LOVE and JOY as you share in my joy! I am so blessed by the MANY Facebook messages, text messages and phone calls that I have received! Thank you for all of the prayers you have lifted up, and I hope you know how much I appreciate and covet those prayers! Please continue to pray, I have only just begun the next phase of the journey! Here are a couple of things that are on my heart...
1. Please pray for her attachment to me! Please ask God to prepare my heart for her and her heart for me.
2. Please pray for resiliency.... there are going to be a lot of changes in this little one's life in the next couple of months. She has only known life in an orphanage and will need lots of resiliency to be able to adjust to a new and very different life.
Thank you & Merry Christmas!

"Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for He has visited us and accomplished redemption for His people." Luke 1:68

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Glory to God in the Highest....

And on earth, peace, among those with whom he is pleased." Luke 2:14

I am a Mom!!

As I was pondering over this blog, this one verse kept coming to my mind! You see God is so faithful! I have always known God was faithful, but was He REALLY faithful? The answer is YES! Those "Mustard Seeds" I keep telling you about.... well, it is true, anyone with even that small of faith can say: "...to this mountain, MOVE and it will MOVE!" There were times that I felt like I was staring straight at the entire Andes Mountain Chain that needed some moving..... and guess what, they were ALL moved yesterday! ( I didn't find out until today... and even that was a story of requiring some more faith!) God is faithful, He REALLY is faithful!!

A friend e-mailed me yesterday about something she learned about in a study of the Patriarchs... Beth Moore calls it a "God Show". Well, let me tell you a little bit about the "God Show"! I woke up from a dream this morning that told me I should buy size 2 clothes.... that is what size she is! Then, there was finally the post of the results from yesterday's meeting.... well, some more faith, the agency is closed and I was trying desperately to get in touch with my Social Worker to find out for sure about the results.... every time I prayed for God to lay it on the person's heart that I needed to hear from, within minutes ....LITERALLY.... they called me! Then, the call that said everything was official.... the greatest news of my life! Then, the icing on the cake, I got to go tell my Mom she was going to be a Grammie again, IN PERSON! I live 12 hours from my Mom, no other time of the year would I have been able to go to her work and tell her in person! Then, we got to celebrate together tonight! And, God has brought beauty from the ashes, as today is the 11 year anniversary of my Father's passing....that is a show that only GOD can put on! I had always heard of all these little confirmations and adoption news happening on significant dates... but I never really thought that, that would be MY story.... guess what, I WAS WRONG! God, has used every single life event in my life, to bring me to this very special day.... and to shine HIS GLORY for all to see!

I am so humbled to even be a part of this BIG plan that God has! I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is mine... b/c I only prayed for God's will to be done! It is in complete surrender (which only comes from brokenness) that I told the Lord, I only wanted for His will to be done..... and HE gave me more than I could ever think or imagine! "Lord, who am I that you are mindful of me?" So, it is with Mary that I say:
" My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed, for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name." Luke 1:46-49

I can only imagine how Mary felt when God MOVED to bring His Son into the world! What an amazing and challenging task for a young woman! God found her faithful! And, because she was willing to answer His call, Jesus came to earth so that we might have life eternal. He could have dropped out of the sky to sit on whatever throne he wanted to on earth and take over with the snap of his fingers.... instead, he decided to come as a baby, completely dependent for food and nourishment and all of life's other necessities so that you and I might see the "God Show" unfold! While I am so incredibly BLESSED to have this precious gift in my life for Christmas, I would be remiss if I didn't share what was really on my heart! "Lord, thank you for sending your son, as a baby, for Mary & Joseph to keep for a while, so that because of His life, death and resurrection, I have the gift of walking this journey with my little one! For, if it were not for Christ saving me, I, in and of myself, would have NEVER chosen this path... it is only because He first LOVED me, that I am able to LOVE!

May you all experience the LOVE that surrounds you and know HIS LOVE for you this very day because Christmas isn't about all the gifts beneath the tree.... it is all about LOVE! May LOVE find you and may you find the JOY in LOVING others! Merry Christmas!

PS Thank you for all of your faithful prayers and LOVE! I am blessed beyond measure!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Mustard Seeds

Well, tomorrow (well actually, where I am, TODAY!) is the BIG DECISION day! I have moments of anxiety, moments of excitement and longing to say "Look at my beautiful little girl!", but mostly, I have peace! I have had to keep myself busy the last couple of days so that I wouldn't think on it so much, but PEACE is what I have felt the most! And, I know that this PEACE is from only God Himself and because of the MANY prayers you all have prayed! Several weeks ago, I left this in God's hands because it is so much bigger than me, and in that HE has given me peace!

I have had a "blog in the making" for a while and I am finally getting the chance to share it.... I hope that you find it as much of a blessing as God Word was to me! One day, I was praying and I asked God to show me which passage of scripture He wanted me to read for that day.... Here is the passage of scripture: Matthew 13:31-32 "He put another parable before them, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches."

Well, as many of you know, God has made Matthew 17:20 very real to me in the last 6 months to a year.... then God showed me this passage of scripture! I thought, I have heard lots of sermons, but I don't ever remember anyone teaching on this one.... we always hear Matthew 17:20 (which I say almost everyday!) but never do we really hear about what can happen to our faith if we are willing to sow that seed into God's soil, His will! As I read it, God revealed to me just how much one little seed of faith can do, not only can it Move Mountains (Matt 17:20) but it grows! It grows so BIG that it becomes a tree and the birds come to rest in it! God's desire isn't just for us to "move a mountain" with our mustard seed, but to plant it in His fertile soil and watch it grow... His desire is to SEE our faith grow! And, in fact, He does it all for us! And, it is through this growing that we become strong in faith! I do believe that it is easier for some to have more faith than others, but I don't believe for a minute that anyone came by it without some GROWTH! You see, this passage of scripture is a reminder to not just "hold onto" my mustard seed sized faith, but to plant it in the fertile soil God has provided and SEE just how He grows it! God's plans are so much bigger and BETTER than my own!

Now, please understand, this is all "theology according to Rebecca", but God made very clear to me that everything that I have been through to this point is only the BEGINNING! Once, a mountain is moved with my mustard seed of faith, I must be diligent to plant that seed in God's fertile soil and allow it to grow so that I might share with others my story! I have been convicted lately of being a good steward of the story that God has given me.... I hope that I can do that! Sometimes it is a challenge for me! I know this will surprise some of you, but it usually takes me a long time to open up and share what is on my heart.... and God wants me to tell of what He is done so much more readily than that!

I have no idea what decision will be made on December 22nd, I have to be honest, satan has tried to have his field day with me.... 11 years ago on December 23rd my brother and I got a phone call that my Father was dying, and he died on Christmas Eve, just a few hours after we got there... and there have been some other sad events in my life during the holidays, that have attempted to steal my joy. BUT, God reigns VICTORIOUS over all of those tough times and satan too! So, no matter what His will is, I am going to choose JOY for this Christmas! Oh! It might be one or the more difficult things I have ever done in life, but I know God has me tightly in the palm of His hands, He has not forgotten me or the little one who I pray will be mine! And, it is with my "mustard seed" sized faith that I go into the 22nd with prayer! I am confident of this very thing... God's will WILL be done, AND my "mustard seed" sized faith says that He will move mountains for this little one!

Thank you for joining me in prayer on the 22nd! The meeting begins at 9:00am. My file is there and ready for evaluation tomorrow! Again, please pray for God's Will to be done and for peace in the waiting!

"Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and feed on faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. COMMIT YOUR WAY TO THE LORD; TRUST IN HIM, AND HE WILL ACT." - Psalm 37:3-5

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Where Have I Been?

Wow! 4 months ago today, was the last time I updated! So sorry! I am sure you all are wondering where in the world I have been! Let's just say, it has been a little hectic to say the least!

Well, school started a week after the last post (that explains A LOT)! With that being said, the madnesss of Homecoming and SGA also began! The beginning of school is always really hectic, but it was even more so this year! For my birhtday, I got the news that I had to have sinus surgery #2! Months and months of antibiotics and steroids had failed to keep infection out of the area of the sinuses that were healthy at the time of surgery #1. Thankfully, I made it through surgery #2 only to find out 4 weeks later that I was looking at sinus surgery #3 as the infection had moved to the only part that had not been operated on. I was exhausted day & night, struggling through the day and no matter how much I slept, I still felt exhausted when I woke up. The last several months have been a real struggle! After facing sinus surgery #3 (which THANK GOD I didn't have to have after all!) I began seeking out some other help. I started a regime of vitamins and seeing a chiopractor. I never believed in chiopractors before, but let me tell you, within 3 weeks I was feeling almost 100% better and the infection had gone! Now, I don't completely credit the chiopractor.... I completely credit GOD! It was a very dark and humbling time for me! I realized during this time that I can not do anything on my own, it must all be Him! Thankfully, I am doing much better -- FINALLY!! I had been on antibiotics & steroids since January. Now, if you say antibiotic to me --- I rund screaming!!

On the adoption side of things.... what I know you really want to know about!.... things in August, September and October had moved really slow. There was no improvement in the process and again, this was a really dark and difficult time for me! I knew this process was hard, but I really had NO IDEA just how hard it could get! There are so many who have children and don't want them, yet those who want children have to go through so much trouble and turmoil to share love with a child! So sad! But, I won't get off on that tangent! I had all but given up hope, my faith was only the size of a mustard seed to begin with... and let me tell you, that is really small!

Although I had really been struggling emotionally, physically and spiritually too, I could feel God holding me close and holding me up! I know He was there all along, even though I couldn't see (and I am still not sure that I do see) what He was doing. I have read Mary Beth Chapman's book "Choosing to SEE" written about their famiy's journey to 3 beautiful adopted children to add to their own three, and the difficult time when one of their three girls was killed in a terrible accident. She tells of the incredible love God has shown them through this difficult time and that sometimes we have to "Choose to SEE" what He is doing. He is always working around us and through us, but we have to CHOOSE TO SEE IT! Wow! What an amazing truth! I decided that I needed to CHOOSE TO SEE what God was doing rather than focusing on what He was "not doing", according to my limited human world view!

Well, about the middle of October, this one sweet little child's name kept speaking to me from the Priority Adoption list. I had seen her name on the list for a couple of months and I kept being drawn to her name and the 1 sentence of information about her. So, after much prayer, I finally decided to requet her file and to read it through. (By the way, one doesn't request a file casually.... much prayer must go into that because each file you read, that child will remain with you forever! I feel that it is God's desire for me to pray for these sweet children like never before, as I might be the only one standing in the gap for these sweet beautiful children of God!) So, after reading and praying and researching, about a month's worth of praying and researching, I decided that God would have to close this door because I could not. So, I requested this sweet little one! Now, there have been some interesting "God things" in the time that I have been considering this sweet child. The one that I would like to share with you is this one: I had been considering her file for about a week or so. I decided to visit a Christian bookstore that I had not been to in a long time. As I was perusing the isles of books, I came across a baby name book. Out of curiosity, I wanted to see what her name menat. I can't tell you her name, but here is what it meant: "Strong in Faith" and the scripture that accompanied the meaning of her name was Matthew 17:20 -- "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain MOVE and it will move." This verse, I had taken on as my verse for this journey back in the summer when things were looking so bleak! I just stood there and stared at the words on that page, certain that my tears were going to mess up the book! The truth is, I don't know that it was "confirmation", but it certainly was an encouragement from the only ONE who knew how much my heart needed some encouragement!

I was reminded of something not long ago..... this journey for me has been one that I liken to the Israelites' journey through the wilderness & desert to the Promised Land. There have certainly been those dry times of nothing, everyday waiting for God's daily Manna.... only enough for today, nothing I could store up or hold for tomorrow.... his light leading me through the darkness, and perhaps a glimpse of the Promised Land. But, what I was reminded of, is that there were GIANTS in the PROMISED LAND! After 40 years, the Israelites arrived at the Promised Land, scoped it out only to find GIANTS! Well, there are lots of giants in this sweet little one's Promised Land. Her story is her own, so I will not share what those giants are, that will be her choice when she is old enough to share. But, there are giants there. However, that isn't the end of the story..... God AGAIN PROVIDES for the Israelites... HE gave them what they needed to conquer the giants in the Promised Land! I am confident that God will give me what I need and what this precious child will need to conquer the giants!

The truth of the matter is this, this is God's journey! I have said that all along, but I have had to learn in the last 4 months how to LIVE those words! I have learned to LEAVE everything in His hands and wait for Him to move! Part of the last 4 months has been a lesson in doing this. He wants me to take a step and wait in FAITH on HIM. So, I have been! I am at complete peace with my request for this sweet precious little girl that I hope gets to be my own! I am at complete peace beacuase I have left EVERYTHING in the hands of the only ONE who can know what will be best for her! Only HE can see where I will be and where my child will be in 18 years and beyond.... and the journey that we will walk, so I have to leave EVERYTHING in His hands! The "mathcing meeting" (this is the meeting where the Peruvian gov't officials will determine whether this child is to be mine or not) is on December 22, and I am again aksing you to pray like you may have never prayed before. My prayer request is for GOD'S WILL to be done! Yes, I love this sweet one and I would love to give her a home, but she is God's not mine, and because I love her, I want ONLY God's BEST for her and only HE can see that! So, again, PLEASE PRAY! Pray for God's will to be done! Thank you for sharing in this journey with me, it is certainly a life-long journey and I am humbled by your desire to walk with me!

May you all have a Blessed and Merry Christmas! God has so many blessings just waiting for you.... will you "Choose to SEE" them this Christmas and throughout the year?

"I will not forget you! SEE, I have you engraved on the palms of my hands...." Isaiah 49:16