Well, tomorrow (well actually, where I am, TODAY!) is the BIG DECISION day! I have moments of anxiety, moments of excitement and longing to say "Look at my beautiful little girl!", but mostly, I have peace! I have had to keep myself busy the last couple of days so that I wouldn't think on it so much, but PEACE is what I have felt the most! And, I know that this PEACE is from only God Himself and because of the MANY prayers you all have prayed! Several weeks ago, I left this in God's hands because it is so much bigger than me, and in that HE has given me peace!
I have had a "blog in the making" for a while and I am finally getting the chance to share it.... I hope that you find it as much of a blessing as God Word was to me! One day, I was praying and I asked God to show me which passage of scripture He wanted me to read for that day.... Here is the passage of scripture: Matthew 13:31-32 "He put another parable before them, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches."
Well, as many of you know, God has made Matthew 17:20 very real to me in the last 6 months to a year.... then God showed me this passage of scripture! I thought, I have heard lots of sermons, but I don't ever remember anyone teaching on this one.... we always hear Matthew 17:20 (which I say almost everyday!) but never do we really hear about what can happen to our faith if we are willing to sow that seed into God's soil, His will! As I read it, God revealed to me just how much one little seed of faith can do, not only can it Move Mountains (Matt 17:20) but it grows! It grows so BIG that it becomes a tree and the birds come to rest in it! God's desire isn't just for us to "move a mountain" with our mustard seed, but to plant it in His fertile soil and watch it grow... His desire is to SEE our faith grow! And, in fact, He does it all for us! And, it is through this growing that we become strong in faith! I do believe that it is easier for some to have more faith than others, but I don't believe for a minute that anyone came by it without some GROWTH! You see, this passage of scripture is a reminder to not just "hold onto" my mustard seed sized faith, but to plant it in the fertile soil God has provided and SEE just how He grows it! God's plans are so much bigger and BETTER than my own!
Now, please understand, this is all "theology according to Rebecca", but God made very clear to me that everything that I have been through to this point is only the BEGINNING! Once, a mountain is moved with my mustard seed of faith, I must be diligent to plant that seed in God's fertile soil and allow it to grow so that I might share with others my story! I have been convicted lately of being a good steward of the story that God has given me.... I hope that I can do that! Sometimes it is a challenge for me! I know this will surprise some of you, but it usually takes me a long time to open up and share what is on my heart.... and God wants me to tell of what He is done so much more readily than that!
I have no idea what decision will be made on December 22nd, I have to be honest, satan has tried to have his field day with me.... 11 years ago on December 23rd my brother and I got a phone call that my Father was dying, and he died on Christmas Eve, just a few hours after we got there... and there have been some other sad events in my life during the holidays, that have attempted to steal my joy. BUT, God reigns VICTORIOUS over all of those tough times and satan too! So, no matter what His will is, I am going to choose JOY for this Christmas! Oh! It might be one or the more difficult things I have ever done in life, but I know God has me tightly in the palm of His hands, He has not forgotten me or the little one who I pray will be mine! And, it is with my "mustard seed" sized faith that I go into the 22nd with prayer! I am confident of this very thing... God's will WILL be done, AND my "mustard seed" sized faith says that He will move mountains for this little one!
Thank you for joining me in prayer on the 22nd! The meeting begins at 9:00am. My file is there and ready for evaluation tomorrow! Again, please pray for God's Will to be done and for peace in the waiting!
"Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and feed on faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. COMMIT YOUR WAY TO THE LORD; TRUST IN HIM, AND HE WILL ACT." - Psalm 37:3-5